Blackbeard Criticized For Lack of Depth? A Rebuttal

It has recently come to my attention that a few people have criticized "Blackbeard: The Musical" as lacking character depth because all they do is sing.

I must respond emphatically in defense of the musical that has been a bright spot in our lives, that has made us laugh and cry. We are no strangers to Broadway musicals, but it is getting increasingly difficult to find one that compares to Blackbeard: The Musical.

But, back to the point. Is depth absent in Blackbeard: The Musical?

No, but imagination on the part of the audience may be lacking.

Let's start by comparing Lt. Maynard's "Take Me Instead" to other Broadway musicals.



When I first heard "Take Me Instead," I was moved and absolutely interested in this character. He was real to me (my ten year old daughter immediately fell in love with him, and was crushed when she found out he was married!).

Compare Lt. Maynard's pleas to Schoenberg, Boublil, and Kretzmer's Marius Pont Mercy. Their Marius is whiny, selfish, lustful and somewhat a weenie. Lt. Maynard is ready to die for Anne, and Marius thinks Cosette is hot.  I find myself cringing everytime he opens his mouth, no matter how beautiful the voice is. And these people already had fleshed out, deep characters created for them by genius Victor Hugo!

I will not even attempt to compare Lt. Maynard to the immensely annoying and irritating Raoul from The Phantom of the Opera.

Perhaps critics cannot relate to real depth, only the depth that one would find on the "OC" or other such nonsense.

And, speaking of "Phantom", shall we compare the depth of Mary's "This Is Not The Man I Love" to anything Christine sings about when dealing with a psychotic, murdering stalker? Mr. Gardner was genius in his development of Mary. She is strong--even though she could have been a victim, she does not become one.

And what about "Phantom" versus "Blackbeard?" As we get to know Blackbeard, we love and hate him, but not in an unhealthy "Phantom" way. We love who he could be, but hate his pride and condescending attitude toward people. But, we know he's been hurt...in "To Be Remembered," he sings about how people will lie and leave...we wonder who hurt him when he was younger...we wonder if Mary's love can save him. We shudder as he wickedly, mockingly laughs at Anne. We cry when we realize that underneath the "look" that has made the man--is the man Mary loves.



If that's not depth, what is?

Cry for a New Mascot

I was contemplating the mascot of my current college.

Thor, the viking.

From "The Mascot Riding the Line"

Whose idea was this?!?

And, of course, there are the colors. Blue and gray. Our nickname? The Vikings.

My thoughts are this: If they are considering booting the big-lipped buffoon, why not bring in a mascot that will truly unite the students?

Blackbeard.

Our colors, of course, would be black-with a hint of red. We would be called "The Pirates."

Just to be sure, however, I've prepared a list of questions to assess which mascot would be a better fit.

Question 1: Is the mascot in "Blackbeard the Musical?"

Thor: No
Blackbeard: Yes

Question 2: Does the mascot have some sort of frightening body feature?

Thor: "Don't look at my lips, please."
Blackbeard: "I can set my beard on fire."

Question 3: Is the name of the mascot's boat "Queen Anne's Revenge?"

Thor: No
Blackbeard: Yes

Question 4: Would the students feel a kinship with the mascot?

Thor: Studies show that many students do not know of his existence
Blackbeard: It is nearly impossible to not feel immediate loyalty to Blackbeard, unless he abducts your fiance.

Question 5: Which would be better for the 25-and-older lonely and singles: "Single Vikings" or "Single Pirates?"

Thor: "Single Vikings." This says: You don't need to dress up or anything; come in your pajamas and snow boots. We don't care if you get married.
Blackbeard: "Single Pirates!" For, as Mr. Bonnet suggests, "You must dress your very best if you want to be a pirate." Well-dressed is what BYU-Idaho is about. "Single Pirates" is much more in line with BYU-Idaho's goals.

I think it's readily apparent which mascot would better "re-think" education. Thor is over. Blackbeard has just begun.

The Blackbeard Movement

It's happening all across the country.

I noticed, as I was shopping for mustard, a display of pirate ships.


And, is it just in my local town, or has mustard sales gone up? Not to mention the following:

Found Here

Sure, the creator of this shirt says it's a political statement, but we all know that he's alluding to the fact that he is a Stede Bonnet fan.

...and speaking of politics...

It is becoming more obvious, what with powerful political persons mimicking Governor Johnson.



In the following photo, Governor Hoeven contemplates shaving his mustache that he may look more like Governor Johnson.

As for this last weekend, it has become obvious that Blackbeard fans everywhere are boldly showing their love for the Pirate of pirates and his motley crew.


I can think of no other reason for all the sail boats I saw this past weekend...along with all the people taking to water:


I, myself, decided to go on vacation this past weekend. But, even trying to take a break from Blackbeard being my life, I found that Blackbeard is, indeed, everywhere.

For example:

I thought I had found a rustic cabin in the middle of a pristine forest...only to find that it was undeniably designed after a pirate ship, no doubt Blackbeard's:


On closer inspection, it was readily apparent that the window was fashioned after the bowels of a ship:

Arising the next morning, I even found that my breakfast cereal had a hidden message.

Don't you see it? Have a closer look:

Yes. Those are miniature anchors that you are seeing. "Mom's Best" wants us to know the prominent position they are taking on Blackbeard: the Musical.

And, of course, ChipMates. I was, naturally, drawn to these cookies over all others in the aisle.

Another favorite of Mr. Hands, no doubt.

Keep it up, my fellow Blackbeard fans. We will yet see Blackbeard: the Musical on Broadway.

Blackbeard vs. Jack Sparrow

OR

As done in a previous post, we'll narrow this down to the most important characteristics of each pirate. I have some questions here that will determine who is the better pirate.

Question 1: Is the pirate in "Blackbeard the Musical?"

Blackbeard: Yes
Jack Sparrow: No

Question 2: Has the pirate attempted to appear threatening to others?

Blackbeard: Yes
Jack Sparrow: No

Question 3: Does the pirate suffer from seasickness?

Blackbeard: Never
Jack Sparrow: It appears he suffers from it frequently, judging from his awkward movements

Question 4: What is that stuff around the pirate's eyes?

Blackbeard: Perhaps a bit of gunpowder
Jack Sparrow: Woman's eyeshadow (?!?!)

Question 5: Why are there beads in Jack Sparrow's hair?

Blackbeard: N/A
Jack Sparrow: Because I'm confused.

There you have it. Sift through the information yourself; but I think we'll all come to the same conclusion.

There's only one Blackbeard.